Ecuador and Peru - Day 1

This summer I took a trip to South America and visited Ecuador and Peru. I've decided to publish the journal that I kept in Ecuador and Peru, and hopefully add some additional comments retrospectively. This should give you a taste of the adventures of South America, and hopefully inspire some trips! So, let's begin...

Our first day of travel began with a last-minute run to the bank, some packing, and some breakfast. For the life of me, I could not find my tennis shoes, so I wound up wearing my hiking boots. Mom sent us off in a cab ride with a young adventurous driver. We made small talk all the way to the airport where we checked in without a fuss. In the terminal. I befriended a lady from Monterey, who offered to get us into the aquarium for free. During the plane rides, Madelin and I practiced Spanish and got more and more excited for our upcoming adventure! One lady could feel our energy and asked us all about our planned adventure. By the time we were over South America, the stars were shining high above the clouds. We saw the mountainous terrain unfold before us in waves of street lights and buildings. It didn't take long to realize that we were in a whole new world. In the airport, they had infrared cameras and were screening out anyone with a fever for fear that they may have the Swine Flu. Luckily we passed without any problems. Felipe, Wladimir, and Amelie happily met us at the terminal and gave us all their insights regarding our plans. It was great to be greeted with some friendly faces. We checked into our hostel: a clean, quaint little room with an amazing view. Free internet and breakfast are a bonus! I realized that despite being in a different time zone, Ecuador does not do Daylight Savings Time (DST), so it is the same time here as it was in Chicago. Our evening ended in plans for tomorrow.

Feet and Relationships

I found myself thinking (surprise!) about relationships today.  Specifically, I was thinking about new relationships, friendships, or what have you.  Certainly, I try to put my "best foot forward," so to speak, when I am meeting someone for the first time.  I mean, let's face it: nobody is going to present all their flaws up front.  Flaws are simply not attractive, which is why I find myself filtering these out in a new relationship.  I put my best foot forward.

Naturally, I began thinking about my feet, and moreover, about my other foot.  If I always put my best foot forward, what happens to my worst foot?  I certainly can't walk with my best foot forward all the time.  Well, I guess I could try, but it would be some kind of awkward lock-step.  On the whole, I would not get anywhere and be very late for meetings (of which I never seem to run out).  Of course I can't walk with my best foot forward all the time, this is simply not how we walk.  We use one foot and then the other, alternating naturally between the good foot and the bad foot.  I'll admit that sometimes I skip or pretend that I'm dancing and actually lock-step, but I can't NOT alternate feet if I'm traveling by... foot.

Good foot.  Bad foot.  What does this, then, mean for my new relationship?  Well, I think it means that the natural walk is going to have to settle in at some point.  In addition, it would seem that the sooner this happens, the better.  While the good foot is certainly good (hence the name), it's only half of our wonderful walking apparatus, and only half of ourselves as a person.  If the new relationship is going to last, and if I am to be on time for YAM, I need to alternate using both the good foot and the bad foot.  If I keep using only one foot, I feel like I'm going to miss out on a lot, and ultimately not get to where I'm going, both in the physical world, and in the emotional one.

My apologies to those reading this who do not have the use of their feet.

Emotions are Stirred

Well, it's the first day of the new year, that's 2008 for those of you keeping track, and I guess its no surprise that I find myself in a retrospective mood.  As if I needed a reason to stop and think, right?  It's a time of emotions and feelings, and don't be too confused, this is not a Lifetime original movie.  More so, it's just my thoughts.  In fact, today it is a time of thinking about my thoughts: metacognition.  Let's get right down to business.  The topic: emotions (and if there's time, a short discussion on the proper uses for a colon (:) as punctuation).

I've been kind of tired today: sort of lethargic, and hungry but not really wanting to eat.  I started thinking I was getting a cold, but then I realized that I never get sick (true story).  Instead, I came to the realization that my emotions were stirring.  I wasn't sick, I was just feeling.  A couple questions popped into my mind.  First and foremost, "why," and coming in a close second, "how?"  Why is an interesting question (those are the only kind I have).  

Boomhauer on The King of The Hill once made an interesting observation about money, "Money is like the dang-old wind, man, you only feel it when it's moving."  I really like that analogy, and I like to think of emotions in the same way.  That is, my emotions are all present in me at all times: anger, love, joy, and video games.  Most of the time they just kind of sit there in a good-enough equilibrium.  They sit until something comes along to jostle them.  My anger emotion makes its move when I slip on some ice, and just as if there were some force hitting that emotion, at first it's really noticeable, but emotional friction kicks in right away, and eventually the anger resides into my pool of emotional good-enough-ness.  Once it stops moving, much like the wind, I don't feel it anymore.  Joy gets a kick (or gets kicked, I should say), when I return to the ice to see it a soggy, salty, and sticky mess.  Another fleeting emotion falls victim to Boomhauer's analogy.

Love is my favorite one to apply this analogy to.  I think it works pretty well, at least from what I've experienced.  Just like any emotion, you only feel it when it changes.  Love changes in many different ways, but think just about starting a relationship, and ending one.  At the beginning of a relationship there are all these exciting forces messing with that love emotion.  There's some excitement kicking it around, there's anxiety taking swings at it with a baseball bat, and all in all that love emotion is all over the place.  Fast forward a few months, maybe a year if it is a good enough relationship (or the two parties are just that uninteresting), and the love emotion has probably settled down from its initial thrashing.  Sure, some things come along now and again to mess it up a bit, a fight or an anniversary, but on the whole it's pretty much just there.  I think there are times in any relationship where it's easy to forget why the other person is special, or to take him/her for granted.  Maybe it's in the middle of its lifespan or maybe somewhere else, but it ties in nicely with that initial analogy.  Your love isn't changing, so it's easy to not feel it.  Should this relationship have an end, the results are consistent with the previous wind and money exhibits.  Maybe it's a messy end and you feel it a lot: the love emotion is bouncing like a pinball in the pool of emotions.  Maybe it's a mutual thing and the net result is just a little movement.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm a huge nerd.  I've basically just applied Newton's Laws of motion to emotions (is it a coincidence that the laws apply to two words with such similar spellings?  I think not...).  Nerdiness aside, it does a good job of summing up the "why" my emotions were stirring and making me lethargic/sickly.  But what about "how?"

I like this question because it's one that I can't really answer.  To me, it's a question of immaterial things (emotions, thoughts) manifesting themselves as physical changes, annoying changes at that.  I think it's safe to say that one of the emotions stirring within me is anxiety: I've made a new friend, and I'm not sure where it will lead.  Now, this is certainly "real" enough, right?  It's a thought or a "feeling," but it's not something I can touch or see.  As far as I know (which is not a lot, bear in mind (no, there are no animals in my brain)), these are just electrical impulses in my brain.  For some reason, these anxiety thoughts are a signal for my stomach feel like it has just a little bit too much acid than base, and manage to make me hungry yet full at the same time.

I think I may be making some headway here.  Thinking about emotions as thoughts and thoughts as impulses from my brain, makes me wonder if emotions are only emotions because we think about them, and we react the way we do.  Maybe this anxiety emotion is exactly that impulse that makes my stomach all gurgly.  Maybe love is just that impulse that makes your heart feel like it's on fire (or maybe that's acid reflux)...

Conclusion: I think my emotions were really just gas.  Some gas just escaped me and I feel much better.  I'll let you decide what did the trick.

A New Book

It has become something of a tradition that every year, at Christmas, my dad will give each of us a book to read.  It sounds kind of nerdy, but he always picks these best-seller books that are really great and fun to read.  It sort of makes me feel guilty that I'm reading something fun and not something of monstrous literary significance.  After starting this new book, I was so struck by it that I just had to write down my impressions.  This is what I get for reading right before bed!  The book is called An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England by Brock Clarke.

This writer writes as if he were speaking the way some people I've met do: like a writer who writes the way he speaks.  I guess that's not saying a whole lot.  His sentences are at least six lines long, and punctuated with commas and hyphens.  It's easy to get lost in a cycle of appositives.  He's the kind of writer that will digress every other paragraph, and take an entire chapter to make a single point.  Coupled with this almost annoying style, is the ridiculously fast pace of the book.  The author has no problem simply stating major events in just a few words, and with the amount of alluding he does from chapter to chapter, reading thirty pages of this book is entirely exhausting.

That said, I'm really enjoying this book.  The premise is so simple, yet so unique and specific.  A man goes to jail for an accidental crime.  His life is basically ruined and the story seems to be about the affects this has on his life.  It's a tried and true premise for a story, but the author gives so many details, that it's easy to see past what would otherwise be a bit of a cliche story.  I mean, honestly,  how often do you hear a story about a man who accidentally burned down the Emily Dickenson house and killed two people in the process?  Sounds kinda interesting to me.

All in all, the book would be pretty bleak if it weren't for the author's extravagantly trivial observations.  It doesn't seem like the story teller can take anything seriously, which makes for a pretty funny read.  At the same time, however, I feel the main character's pain.  There's something so agonizingly real about being accused of something you didn't do, or didn't mean to do.  There's a kind of haunting feeling that lives in all of us when we know that someone could blackmail us, and there's nothing we could do about it.  Just hinting that the character might go through these things, instantly brings up these built-in emotions that the author somehow knows I have.

So far: great book.

Ice and Exams

Welcome to my home away from home.  I've been spending so much time in this ominous beacon of steel and cement, that I saw it fit to give it a blog entry (lucky building...).  This past week has been one of non-stop work and studying.  It seems that all my classes conspired to stress me out.  My friend from Italy was telling me about how their final exams are stretched out over four weeks.  Even with that, he said, he still has lots of things due all at once.  Still, it has to be better than having everything due within one week.  The culmination of every class, every project coming together in a single week is simply too much.  It seems that all my time is spent in this nifty building, whether it's early in the morning, late at night, raining, snowing, hailing, or raining fire like the apocalypse.

But, this is just the change the winter brings.  Out goes the warm weather, in comes the cold.  No more rain (well, some rain... Ms. Nature can't make up her mind at the moment), just lots of snow and ice.  It's not all bad, however.  Occasionally the snow falls just right, the night sky turns an inky black, and icicles reflect the light from the street lamps in a thousand different directions.  It's a welcome break from the various stress associated with this time of the year.  It may sound cliche, but there's something to be said for stopping and smelling the roses... or in this case, the ice covered branches of the trees on the Engineering Quad.  There's a funny kind of tranquility that the ice has.  It reminds me that sometimes I just have to sit still for a while and reassess my priorities, just like that frozen water is doing (should I be ice?  Should I melt and drip?  I think I will chill here for a little bit...).

In any case, all the badness that is final exams will pass in a matter of days.  The ice will melt, vacations will begin, and building lolcats will consume all of my free time.

Zipper

Ideal. Who knew a simple zipper could express so much?

Something funny struck me when I looked down at my stylish new hoodie.  The zipper, a quality piece of metal, by the way, had the letters "IDEAL" printed on it.  Ideal.  Perfect.  The best possible.  That's quite a feat to live up to.  I mean, I didn't think such a small, innocent little zipper could put so much pressure on me.  I'm bearing this seal of perfection, I should live up to it.  But how can anyone be ideal?  Cliches have taught us that nobody is perfect, so what am I to do?  The way I see it, there are a few things that could happen.

I could buy a new hoodie, or simply not wear this one.  The problem with this is that I like my apparel too much to just abandon it.  There's a certain level of style provided by my comfy gray companion that I simply can't do without.  This option is out of the question.

I could be ideal... I kinda like how this one sounds, but I think I know how it would pan out.  I'd be really studious, kind, and charitable for a few days.  I would go out of my way to help people, and be the best person I could be.  After maybe three or four days I'd find someone that would pinch my last nerve and completely go off on him/her.  Some off-the-cuff insults and lots of mumbled swears later, I'd be at home blogging about what an impossible standard we're held up to from day to day.  I'd write about how I take classes in a feeble attempt to learn new things, and study material that interests me.  I'd make note that this educational system favors rote memorization over comprehension and useful knowledge.  It would be about how we're expected to put on one face for our professors, one for our peers, and a new one for recruiters.  The post would probably lead to a song that I've been trying to write for a year, which details all these facades and the hopelessness of it all...  Something tells me that a different solution is what I need.

I could redefine 'ideal.'  Now, this I could work with.  It's pretty clear that perfection is something reserved for fairy tales and hopeless dreamers.  I'm a real person in one of many real worlds, and as such I need a real expectation.  Call it what you want: I'll call it ideal and proudly wear my sweater.

Self Improvement

Someone once told me that you can't learn to love anybody else until you learn to love yourself. Sometimes we don't like who we are, or who we are becoming, but we're always in control and you can always improve, if you wish. After travelling down this trail of thought for a while, I decided to do four things everyday. That's it, just four. Four things such that if I do nothing else in a given day, it will not have been wasted, becuase I have these four things crossed off my list.

Do Something I Would Like To Do
This could be as simple as reading a book or could be as involved as learning a new language. The way I see it, every day needs balance. You can learn and improve yourself all you want, but it could prove to be self-destructive if you don't relax and indulge your wants once in a while. This should be something that will make you feel good, maybe something new that you haven't tried before. It could really be anything, be creative! (It could even be "be creative.")

Do Something You Need To Do
We all have things that we put off. You know, those things that we've been meaning to do, but haven't done yet because we're too lazy or too tired or just keep forgetting... whatever the excuse is, pick something and do it. Get it done. Cross it off your list for good, you wont have to worry about it anymore. Mine for tomorrow is simply, "buy stamps." I need stamps. I keep forgetting to get them, but when I finally do so tomorrow, I will have stamps and it won't bother me anymore. Doesn't that feel nice?

Do Something For Someone Else
This one is kind of your typical, save-the-world-one-person-at-a-time deal. Honestly, though, I think many people find that volunteering, helping people out, just doing something nice for a friend or stranger makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. Plus, as a bonus, you've done something nice for someone else who, in turn, feels equally fuzzy. That's kind of a double bonus. Two moments of fuzziness in one act. Think of how many people one person could affect if he or she did this every day. Just one little thing. We're all capable of doing one nice thing a day. Just think if we all did this, every day. It's not hard to imagine the world being a simply nicer place to be.

Do Something For Yourself
As much fun as it is to help others, you have to keep in mind that you deserve priority as well. Just because you can help others doesn't mean that you shouldn't help yourself. It is easy to get lost in the business of other people and lose track of who you really are. So for this one, do something just for yourself. Maybe go exercise, eat a salad, scarf some cake... do whatever makes you your own person. Maybe you like to draw, play video games, or just vegetate. Pick something and indulge.

These don't have to be groundbreaking ideas. Simple things will suffice, and I think anyone can handle doing four things in twenty four hours. That's one simple thing every six hours. I'd like to think that in six hours I can get at least one thing done. I have no idea how practical this is, but I'm going to give it a shot, I'll let you know how it turns out.